


Reconciliation

by Pandora54321



Series: Building Our New Home Together [1]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Incest, I’ll make another fic, M/M, No wait no smut in this one, Rating May Change, Slow Burn, They'll get together eventually, Twincest, call it pining, then have smut at the end of THAT one, there's gonna be smut but near towards the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-17 11:16:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17559356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pandora54321/pseuds/Pandora54321
Summary: Saeyoung just barely made it in time to stop his brother from detonating the building and killing himself. Now he and Saeran have to learn to live together again after all these years. But with Saeran's hatred for his brother, and the looming threats of both the agency and their father, will they ever get back to how they were as kids?What if they became something more...?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Luciel goes to find and apprehend the hacker, but who Saeyoung finds instead will change his life forever. But for better or for worse?

“B team, go around back. A team, come with me.”

Luciel led the men down the empty hallway. ‘Looped footage! How did you not notice such a simple trick?! How the hell are you an S-ranked agent, idiot.’ Luciel silently scolded himself. 

Finally, Luciel heard a quiet voice coming from around the corner. ‘Must be the hacker.’ He signaled for the men to stay behind while he goes in first. He was planning on negotiating one last time with him, not out of good nature, but out of some strange feeling in his gut he wasn’t quite able to name. Almost a panic, of sorts, but colder and more hollow. He didn’t know why, but this worry plagued every thought he had about the hacker. 

He silently turned the corner to have his stomach seize, heart leaping into his throat. He was there, clear as day. His beloved brother, in a magenta tuxedo inputting a script into the computer. Saeyoung was a deer in the headlights, frozen in shock of what he’d tried so hard to deny this whole time. 

Just as his brother had finished the final line of code, Saeyoung recognized the text on the screen. An algorithm that eerily matched the special security system he’d designed. His heart stopped and he raised his pistol. 

“No!” He fired his gun one, two, three times; not stopping until every computer in that hacking room was destroyed. He kept pulling the trigger even after the ammunition had run out, panicked and out of sorts. 

Saeyoung felt like the world was whirling around him. _Saeran almost died. He’d almost killed himself!_ The thoughts raced through his head. ‘If I’d come just a little bit later he would’ve…!’ 

“No, no, no…” Ray turned around, stunned to see his brothers shaking figure through the doorway. Anger suddenly swept over him. “Dammit!” Ray yelled. “What are you doing here! Why do you always need to ruin everything?!” 

“Saeran…” Saeyoung whispered, barely audible. He was trembling where he stood. 

“Mr. Luciel!” Jumin’s men came rushing down the hallway, their own guns drawn. 

Saeyoung was startled to attention. ‘I can’t let them see Saeran!’

“Stop!” He yelled at them, “Stay where you are!” 

The men halted. “Sir if there’s danger—“ 

“There’s no danger just stay there and let me handle this!” 

“Sir there’s been shots fired. We’re obligated to attend to any wounded men.“ 

“You’re obligated to do as I say for this mission. There’s been no casualties, no need to follow that protocol.”

They looked at him apprehensively, “Sir—“

“Did I sound like I was asking?!” His tone suddenly turned from authoritative to intimidating within a matter of seconds. His glare seemed to slice right through them. “I’ll rephrase: take another step, and you’ll be in a whole lot of danger.” His bluff had some merit to it. Knowing anything about the twins put them at increased risk of getting ‘taken out’ by their father. It was probably for their best interests too that they didn’t come closer. 

They didn’t move, even Ray had gone dead silent at the chilling atmosphere his twin radiated. 

“Go back around the corner and await further instruction. I’m going to go inside this room. You won’t approach this door, you won’t listen in, you’ll stay there and wait. Or you’ll really regret it.” 

They reluctantly pulled back and followed his commands. Saeyoung was lucky he was trained in intimidation. 

He silently walked through doorway (his brother receding to the other side of the room, slightly frightened), shutting and locking the door. 

His act crumbled once he turned around and he fell to his knees, tears beginning to escape his eyes. 

“Saeran…” his shoulders shook as he spoke. “Please don’t go… please don’t leave…” Saeyoung was shattering in front of him like glass. 

Ray stood confused at the emotional whiplash this turn of events was taking. This was nothing like the image of his traitorous brother he’d cultivated in his head. “You left me first, you have no right to ask that!” 

“I know, I...I thought I was protecting you...V...he lied to me. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! If I’d known this would happen…I never should have trusted them!” 

“Stop lying! You forgot about me! You abandoned me to go study abroad!” 

“No I never forgot! Please, believe me! I’ve missed you so much all these years, Saeran!!”

“Don’t call me that! My name is Ray! God you’re ruining everything! Just get out of my life!”

“Please just don’t die!! I’ll do anything!” 

“Then why don’t you just go die!” 

“Yes! Okay! That’s fine! You can kill me just...let me get you out of this first, please! Please let me help you escape!” 

Ray clenched his fists. “I’m not going anywhere with you! I don’t care if I’m arrested or killed by father!”

Saeyoung stopped a moment, letting those words sink in, then exhaled deeply and stood up. “Alright...please forgive me for this, then.” 

“What the—“ Saeyoung came up behind him and delivered a quick chop to the back of his neck. He caught his brothers falling body, laying it on the floor gently. ‘I’m really sorry.” 

‘Now,’ Saeyoung composed himself and took a look around, ‘the vents look roughly human sized.’

He took a deep breath and started to get to work.


	2. Mental breakdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ray wakes up to a shocking sight, his brother pinning some unknown man to the wall with a gun!

Ray slowly opened his eyes, some loud noises rousing him from sleep. His back was propped up against the wall. He rubbed his eyes, trying to focus on the yelling in the room. 

“Zero Seven put the gun down!” It was a male voice he didn’t recognize, but the fear and confusion was clear in the high pitch of his words. 

“Vanderwood I’m sorry but I don’t have any other options!” 

_That_ voice really got his attention, immediately detecting it to be his brothers. He then remembered the earlier events of the day. 

He scrambled to his feet running around the corner to face the arguing men. 

“Where the hell am I?! You kidnapped me, you bastard!” He yelled. 

What he saw was his brother pinning an unknown man (apparently named Vanderwood) to the wall with a gun under his chin. Saeyoung looked absolutely _deranged_ , eyes wide and chest heaving with heavy breaths. Ray stood shocked at the violent scene taking place. 

“Wh-What the hell is going on?!!” 

“Saeran! Please go back around the corner I don’t want you to see this!” 

“I’m not Saeran, don’t call me that!” 

“D-doppelgänger!” Vanderwood gaped. 

“How _dare_ you and what the hell is going on?!” 

“Saeran please just go somewhere you can’t see this! I have to do this to protect you it just needs to happen!” Saeyoung pleaded desperately. 

“Why?!” Vanderwood screamed. “Just tell me why!” 

“God it’s like you want the ‘bad’ me to come out!” ‘I have to stay calm, savior said Saeran can’t come out anymore.’ 

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I just don’t know what else to do! If the agency found out about you they’d kill me and take you away and make you a hacking slave! I can’t let them know!” Saeyoungs grip tightened on the firearm. 

“I won’t tell them anything, I promise! Just put the gun down and let’s talk.” Vanderwood tried. 

“But how can I believe that?! I can’t trust anything anyone says! The last time I trusted someone was V and…and…” he began to tremble, eyes filling up with tears. “I never thought he’d betray me! I have to protect him all on my own I can’t ever trust anyone ever again with my brother!” 

“V? That guy I saved from the overdose?” 

“Oh god...oh god...!” His shoulders shook and the gun clattered out of his hand as he sunk to his knees. “I’m a failure as a brother! We’re gonna die and it’s all my fault! I don’t know what to do the men in black suits will take us away and the agency will find out and I don’t know how to fix this!!” His breaths were short and choppy and his eyes were filled with tears. 

Vanderwood recognized some of these signs from his colleagues’ youth. this would occasionally happen in a stressful situation, but he stopped having them once he grew older. 

“Breathe Zero Seven, just breathe.” He tried to coax. 

“God the men in black suits and the agency and even with mother I’m such a failure I’m-!” He continued muttering other such things, not really hearing the other agent. 

Vanderwood clicked his tongue and brushed some hair out of his face. ‘Better just leave him be for now.’ “Zero Seven I’m going to leave you alone for a bit, okay.” He slowly backed away, taking the gun as he went. “Doppelgänger, come with me.” He grabbed Ray by the wrist and led him to the kitchen. 

“I-is he ok?” 

“He used to have panic attacks sometimes when he was a kid but he outgrew them for the most part. Although right now he seems like he’s going through a full fledged mental breakdown rather than just a panic attack. Now, would you kindly enlighten me on what the hell is going on.” Vanderwood looked at Ray expectantly. 

“That bastard kidnapped me. I don’t even know how I’m supposed to get back.” Saeyoung's house was 5 hours away by car, there’s no way he could get back on foot. He looked around himself anxiously. “First he abandons me, then he kidnaps me?! God he makes me so angry!” ‘Control yourself, control yourself.’ “God I wish I had my medication.” He was feeling stressed and tense all over. 

“If that ‘medication’ you’re talking about is the same one That almost killed that V guy, then you should be glad you’re not on them anymore. And why exactly would you want to go to a crazy place like that?”

A wave of guilt washed over Ray. ‘V survived, I’m still a good boy.’

“Actually, speaking of that V guy,” Vanderwood had his hand to his chin in thought. “Didn’t he say something about V betraying him? I don’t know that guy too well but I do know that he and 707 were pretty close. He must be in a lot of pain.” Vanderwood felt bad for the kid. He entered such a dark world so young, any connection to a good person was probably cherished by the young man.

Ray looked down at his feet.”I don’t get it… it should feel good seeing Saeyoung so hurt from being betrayed and lied to like he did to me. But… when I see him crying like that...I just feel so hollow inside…” He should be happy that his brother was getting a taste of the pain of betrayal he felt after Saeyoung left him, so why wasn’t he? 

Vanderwood didn’t know what to say back, it was obvious that those brothers had a complicated relationship. But he had trouble believing that Saeyoung would go to such lengths to protect someone that he abandoned. ‘There must be more to the story.’ He concluded. 

Suddenly Vanderwood was struck with a realization. “Wait! Do you hear that?” 

“I don’t hear anything.” 

“Exactly! He stopped crying, maybe now I’ll get an actual conversation out of him.” 

Vanderwood walked over to the freezer, opening it and pulling out two tubs of ice cream. “Ice cream has always calmed him down, ever since he was a kid.” He explained. 

Ray didn’t answer, but watched as Vanderwood scooped ice cream into a bowl, put the containers back in the freezer and walked into the room his brother was in. 

Ray was now alone. ‘He likes ice cream still, huh?’ Suddenly he got a headache. He walked forward and leaned on the kitchen counter for support. “ _Gah._ ” It hurt, it stung him deep inside, because what was returning to him was a memory. A memory of ice cream and a beautiful sunset-bathed evening.

Meanwhile, Vanderwood was approaching Saeyoung. He sat down next to him, setting down the bowl. “I brought you ice cream. You seem really stressed.” 

Saeyoung was sitting curled up hugging his legs to his chest, his face buried in his knees. He slowly looked up at Vanderwood. “I had a gun to you earlier, now you’re bringing me ice cream?”

“A gun with the safety on.”

Saeyoung blinked. “Oh.” He didn’t know what else to say. 

Vanderwood sighed. “You’re obviously in danger from multiple things like you said earlier, the agency being one of them. You needed to bring you’re brother to your home and knew I’d be here and that I might tell the agency about your twin if I saw them. Therefore killing me would be the only way to ensure that that scenario wouldn’t come to fruition. That was what was going through your head, wasn’t it?” 

Saeyoung combed a hand through his hair. “Yeah. I’d do anything to protect him, and I’d destroy anyone who tried to hurt him.”

“But you weren’t able to do it since I haven’t done anything.” 

“It’s just—there’s too many things happening at once. Father and the agency are constantly looming overhead and the person that’s helped me deal with them this whole time just betrayed me. I have to start making decisions on my own and...and I thought eliminating threats early would be the safest option.” 

“To be fair, it sorta is. You’re just too chicken to do it. Not that I’m judging or anything I’m glad I’m still alive. You’ve just always been a huge pacifist, willing to risk your life instead of pointing a gun at someone. Eat your ice cream it’s gonna melt.” 

Saeyoung picked up the spoon and started eating, immediately feeling calmer once he felt the cold treat on his tongue. “If you really do tell the agency, I seriously will do it. I'll destroy the agency from the inside out by leaking everything on the web and I’d kill you, slowly and painfully. I’ll repent for my sins in hell.” He took another bite of ice cream. 

For some reason, the way he said it with such dead seriousness, while doing something as harmless as eating ice cream, made him feel more disturbed. Vanderwood cleared his throat. “Got it.” He scrambled to change the subject. “You said something about ‘father’...as in your dad, right? Why exactly is he so dangerous.” 

“I can’t say...you’d be in danger if I told you.”

“Wouldn’t I be in _more_ danger if I stayed around you not knowing what to expect or look out for?” 

“That’s...true. Look, are you sure you want to know?” 

“Yeah.” 

He relayed the story of the origin of his birth. That he was the illegitimate twin of the prime minister. And that things were especially dangerous now that he was running in the presidential election.

“Holy shit I didn’t think it was that bad. Jeez maybe you shouldn’t have told me.” 

“You were the one who asked.” He reminded his coworker. “Anyway just look out for men in black suits. Those are father’s workers. They tailed me all throughout my childhood. I can’t even tell you how many times I had to hide in a dumpster in some street alleyway or change the route I took to get home because of them.” Saeyoung stared down at the floor. “I don’t want you getting hurt because of me so please be careful.” He flushed a bit, “P-plus it’ll be dangerous for us if you get caught so just...be careful.” 

Vanderwood paused a second. “Awwww you’re worried for me.” 

“Sh-shut it, jeez.” 

“Weren’t you the one with a gun to me not long ago?” 

“ _Let’s not talk about that._ ” Saeyoung scrunched his face in annoyance and embarrassment. “Are you really serious about not telling the agency...and still sticking around?” 

“Well, it’s still sort of my job to manage you so yeah.” 

Saeyoung let out a breath. “Then help me put everything into boxes. As soon as we can, we’re relocating. I just decided on moving to that bunker, it seems like the safest option. And then...once we’ve moved, I’m going to go give V a piece of my mind.” 

Vanderwood shrugged. “Alright, sounds good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung said that MC was the only thing getting him through his brotherly problems in the secret end, so I think that he'd have a really hard time without her support. Basically, he's overwhelmed his all these new problems. I hope I characterized them all okay!
> 
> Vanderwood and Saeyoung being close gives me life. Why don't more people write about them?? I also lowkey ship it (just a bit) but this is a choicest fic so lets just ignore that.


	3. A Piece of His Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After making the big move to the bunker, Saeyoung goes to visit his father figure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I'm bad at chapter titles

Saeyoung quickly walked into the hospital and checked in for visiting hours. He breathed out a shaky sigh of anticipation, turning the hallway. He opened the door, letting out a breath as he did. A few of his friends stood inside of V’s room, Zen and Jumin going at it like they usually did while MC tried to calm them down. 

“Luciel!” Jumin’s voice boomed through the room. “Why exactly did you abandon my men and escape with the hacker?! From what they told me, you emptied a full round of bullets, then told them to stay away, somehow managing to _intimidate_ the men into listening to such a ludicrous--”

“Excuse me” Saeyoung mumbled as he pushed past the CEO in line, who was very visibly shocked at being so bluntly ignored. So shocked, in fact, that he didn’t even ask a second time, far too surprised at being brushed off so unimportantly. 

He was now standing at V’s bedside, looking down at a very nervous V. “L-Luciel…” He obviously was at a lack for words. 

Saeyoung was too, actually, so he let his actions speak for him. He slapped V _hard_ across the cheek, his face scrunched in anger and eyes already beginning to well with tears. “How dare you!” He screamed. 

Jumin was about to rush to restain Saeyoung for hurting his friend, but MC grabbed his arm to stop him, shaking her head. V had his head down in shame, a hand resting on the cheek that had just been hit. 

“How _dare_ you nearly leave this world _twice_ , making me have to come to save your ass _both times!_ How _dare_ you worry me so much these past six months! How dare you be so goddamn irresponsible that I, _I_ , have to come lecture you!” His hands balled into fists. “What kind of a father _are you?!_ ” 

The word rang around the room, Jumin looking most stunned of everyone, finding out that his best friend had a _son_ and he didn’t know (and at such a young age too, it was very concerning). 

V was surprised Saeyoung hadn’t just mentioned Saeran at the get-go. “Luciel, I-” 

“SAY I’M SORRY ONCE DURING THIS CONVERSATION AND I’LL TAKE A PAIR OF GARDENING SHEARS TO THAT RATS NEST YOU CALL HAIR. Speaking of your hair, you _know_ there’s a problem when my personal hygiene is better than yours! _Mine!_ I’m having trouble remembering who's supposed to be the father in this relationship.” 

V shut his mouth, not daring to apologize (despite really wanting to) lest he provoke Saeyoung further.

“And finally, how _dare_ you break the promises you made me ten years ago!” Tears were fully streaming down his eyes at this point. “You realize that my life just got a million times _more_ complicated because of your little lovers’ quarrel! I’m not even going to mention the fact you used me as a goddamn hacking tool. I can’t fucking believe it, you actually managed to make _my_ life worse! I want to actively applaud you for achieving such an impossible feat. You and Rika both deserve awards.” His words dripped heavily with sarcasm. “Maybe you should get a ‘worst parent’ award!” 

Considering Saeyoung’s biological parents, that one stung V a lot (Saeyoung didn’t mean it, really, it was just something said in the heat of the moment). 

“And worst of all, worst of all” he paused to choke out a sob, “I can’t even hate Rika for everything she’s done to me.” He sunk to his knees, leaning on V’s hospital bed. “Why can’t I just hate her? Is it because she’s sick? Is it because she’s still the young girl that gave me sweets at church? I don’t know who to blame and I hate it.” He sniffled “Is that how you felt? Not being able to stop caring about her even after she’d done such horrible things?” 

V was silent for a few moments, “Not quite. But...thank you for trying to empathize with me, even in such a perilous situation for you.” He rested a comforting hand on Saeyoung’s head, then turned to his other friends. “Could we please have some privacy?” 

MC ushered everyone out of the room (thank god for MC) and shut the door, leaving V and Saeyoung alone. 

“You really made quite a scene there.” V said, trying to break the tension.

“I did say I’d yell at you later.” Saeyoung looked back up at him, a pout on his face. 

“You did say something like that before you came to rescue me, didn’t you?” V smiled and sighed. “I was surprised earlier that you didn’t just start screaming at me about Saeran.” 

“I care about you too. You really did have me worried, and I’m annoyed that you’ve been so irresponsible these past months. And your hair is an embarrassment.” Saeyoung stood up, leaning on Vs bedside table for support. He exhaled, “And about Saeran…”

Tension hung thick in the air. 

“I’m trying to keep in mind that this was all Rika’s doing, you were a victim in all this as well. It’s not as if I’m not angry at you, and you did enable his suffering, I’m just trying to keep a level head around this.” He stared down at the white linoleum floor, lips tensed together. 

V studied the man carefully. “Is there something else? You look like you’re holding something back.” 

He stood silent, brows furrowing. “They...they told you I opened fire, right? When we went to find the hacker?” 

“Yeah, they said you emptied a full round of bullets. They also mentioned that there was no blood or sign of casualty.” 

“That’s because I was destroying the computers. Saeran was about to run a script, and my instincts told me to stop it at all costs...because that script eerily matched the special security systems’.” 

V had to stop and think for a few moments to understand what he was saying, then he was filled with an incredible sense of dread. “You mean a bomb?!” 

“He was going to detonate the whole building. With himself still inside.” 

V’s stomach sank. “Saeyoung...I…” He gathered his words, “if I’d have known he’d do such a thing—“

“What? You’d have told me? That the hacker was my brother?” His voice was firm, hands balled into fists. 

V didn’t answer—couldn’t answer. 

Saeyoung let out a shaky breath, composing himself. “V, I just want to know one thing. If I hadn’t made it in time to stop Saeran, if Saeran had died in that explosion—would you have told me? That he was dead?” 

V gripped at the hospital blankets so hard that his knuckles turned white. “No. I don’t think I would’ve.” 

“Why?” 

“Because...I would have been too afraid that you’d take your life...to be with him…” 

The words slowly sunk in. Saeyoung let our a noise halfway between a laugh and a sob. “Well...you wouldn’t have been wrong. You know me pretty well by now, huh?” 

V didn’t reply. He didn’t know what to say. 

“Thanks for at least being honest.” Saeyoung sighed. “V, I’m… I’m thinking of leaving the country.” 

“What?! Luciel no—“

“It’s the safest way to solve my problems. Getting away from father, getting away from the agency, it solves all my dangerous situations.”

“But Saeyoung, What about your friends?” 

Saeyoung paused to think of an answer, “They never liked me that much anyway. I just annoyed them. At most they tolerated me. I’m sure they’ll all get on just fine when I’m gone.” 

“They’d miss you so much! I’d miss you! We all care about you! I’m sure we can figure something out—“

“ _I’ll_ figure something out. V, I want you to focus on yourself. Stop just helping others, live selfishly for once, take care of yourself. Let me handle my problems and you work on bettering yourself as a person, ok?” Saeyoung mustered up a smile. “Besides, I’m an adult now. I’m way past the age to be totally dependent on my parents for everything. I’ve got to start making decisions for myself. Anyway,” his grin widened, “You’ve got a girl to come back to now, you really gotta focus on impressing her with all the changes you’ll make.” 

V flushed a bright crimson, “Saeyoung!” 

“Don’t be so embarrassed about it. She’s a great girl, she has my blessing. Swoop in on her whenever you’re ready.” 

“Saeyoung—“

“If you two get married, Wouldn’t that make her my mother in law? That’d be weird, I mean we’re like almost the same age right?” 

“Stop teasing me!” He was covering his face with his hands, still blushing bright red. 

Saeyoung walked to the hospital door. “Well I really better get going, I have to pick up groceries on my way home. And I need to make a quick trip to the industrial supply store. Bye V.” He turned he handle and walked out of the room. 

Jumin stepped into the open doorway, planning on asking his friend about that while ‘father’ thing, only to find him burying his face into his hospital sheets, completely red. “Are you alright?” 

V looked up, “No…” and sunk his face back into the sheets. 

Meanwhile, Saeyoung was focused on exiting the hospital, but Yoosung wouldn’t stop following him. 

“Seven why were you yelling at V like that? Are you okay?”

“Milk, eggs, rice, what else should I buy from the grocery store?” He mumbled to himself. 

“Seven are you listening to me??”

“I’ll also need steel and bolts from the industrial supply store.” 

“Seven.”

“Arabic. Arabic is a good language.” 

“ _Seven!!!_ ” He ran in front of his friend to block his path. 

Saeyoung sighed. ‘I don’t have time for this.’ He slapped on the widest smile he could muster at the time (not his most impressive but it’d get the job done). “Yoosungie-boy, I’m gonna need you to stand right here, close your eyes, and count to 10. Then I’ll tell you anything you want to know. No peeking, or there’ll be a penalty!” 

Yoosung looked confused, but acquiesced to the demands and closed his eyes. ‘1...2…3…’ he heard footsteps rapidly running away from him. He opened his eyes. “Seven!” But Saeyoung was already in the elevator pushing the ‘close’ button. 

“You peeked! Your punishment is me leaving. Bye!” The elevator door closed just as Yoosung rushed up to it. 

“Darn it!” Yoosung crossed his arms. 

At that moment, MC was running towards him. “I need to talk to Luciel, do you know where he went?” 

“You just missed him. He’s going home I think, so the first floor.” 

“Thanks.” She ran to the door to the left of the elevators. 

“Hey MC where are you—“

“Taking the stairs!” She opened the door and ran off. 

—-

Saeyoung was nearing his black sports car, taking his keys out of his pocket. 

“Luciel!” MC shouted, running towards him. 

‘Goddamnit What now?’ Saeyoung opened his car door, planning on just taking off and avoiding the confrontation altogether. 

MC sprinted towards him until she was right up against his ear. “Saeyoung.” She whispered. 

Saeyoung nearly fell to the floor when he heard her. “Where did you hear that name?!”

“Rika mentioned it in the chat rooms, remember?” 

“Oh, right…” when it was just them, V, Rika, and the hack—Saeran in the chatrooms. “You shouldn’t say that name, it’s dangerous.” 

“I won’t, I just needed to get your attention. I had some things I wanted to talk about with you...about Ray. Some things about when me and him were at that place together.” 

“I don’t know if I can handle any more revelations right now…” as much as he wanted to know more about his brother, he was far too overwhelmed with everything. 

“Oh, that’s fine! Just...let’s get some lunch together some time alright? We can talk about it then.” MC suggested. 

Saeyoung thought about it for a minute. “Alright. I’ll text you if I get some free time.” 

MC brightened up. “Alright, sounds great! I’ll see you then, okay! Bye, say hi to Ray for me!” She started back towards the hospital. 

Saeyoung got into his car, pushing the keys into the ignition and shifting gears into drive. He mentally reminded himself of his grocery list, and began to drive off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, without support Saeyoung would have a lot of trouble coping with everything. Right now he's getting out all his anger at V and Rika for betraying him. After the V route and the way Rika acted, I don't think Saeyoung would be able to properly hate her. She just acted so clearly unstable. Rika and Saeyoung seemed pretty close, and she probably was a part of a lot of the few fond memories he had as a kid. I just think he would've had too many conflicting feelings to hate her properly. And I think those feelings of indecisiveness would make him empathize with V a little.


	4. A Good Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ray finally comes out of his room for the first time since they moved.

Saeyoung knocked on the door. 

No reply. 

“Saeran, dinner is ready.” He called through the door. 

“Don’t call me that! And leave me alone!” 

“I’ll leave the food outside the door then, okay Ray?” 

No reply.

Saeyoung put the plates down and sighed, walking back to the kitchen. This exchange had become a three-times daily ritual for him, each time met with the same rejection. He leaned against the kitchen counter. 

Would he and his brother ever get back to where they were as kids? Would Saeran always hate him like this? He didn’t know how much more he could handle, this has been going on for two weeks now. Right after they moved out, Saeran holed himself up in his new bedroom and refused to come out. 

Saeyoung honestly felt like giving up. It was just his love for his brother keeping him going now, his motivation, willpower, and energy having long since run out. He wanted to crawl into a hole and just disappear. 

“Yo, earth to Zero Seven.” 

“Eh—huh?” Saeyoung snapped to attention. 

“Were you not listening to anything I just said?” Vanderwood huffed. 

“Sorry I’m just… never mind. Could you repeat that?” 

Vanderwood gave him a pointed look. “I _said_ you look like a mess. Look at your dark circles, have you slept at all since this started?” 

“Vanderwood, I’m cooking, doing chores, and unpacking boxes all day and doing my agency work all night. Of course I haven’t had time to sleep.” 

“God what’s up with you? You’re cleaning, eating decent meals, budgeting, doing your work on time...it’s frankly a little scary how diligent you’ve gotten.” It was just so unlike the hacker. Or...at least unlike how he’d been before. He almost seemed like a different person now. Vanderwood was more concerned for this version of his friend, but he found him more sincere and endearing. 

Saeyoung walked to the stove and started putting the leftover spaghetti into a tupperware. “How am i supposed to respond to that? I’m just trying to be a good brother.” 

“More like a good mother.” Vanderwood scoffed lightly. 

“I am nothing like a mother!!” He snapped. Turning towards his colleague, an angry look on his face, startling Vanderwood. Saeyoung jolted back him surprise at himself, “I mean...you didn’t mean it that way, s-sorry.” Those nightmares were really starting to get to him. 

Vanderwood sighed, his gaze softening. “Kid go get some sleep.”

“I can’t.” He turned the sink on to start doing the dishes. 

“I’ll finish cleaning up the kitchen. You need sleep.” 

Saeyoung sighed, loading the dish he was holding into the washer. “No it’s not that. I mean I really can’t.” 

“What why—“ 

“Hyung.” 

A short silence fell after the interruption. 

Saeyoung jolted around, excited that his brother had finally left his room. “Saeran—I mean Ray! D-do you need something?!” 

_Tch_. Ray let it slide since he corrected himself. “I want ice cream. You said that you bought some the other day.” 

“Yeah! Uh,” Saeyoung dried his hands and went to the freezer. “You still like chocolate, right? There’s also strawberry and vanilla, and some different flavored popsicles.” 

“Chocolate.” Ray stared at his feet. 

“I’ll get you some right now!” Saeyoung pulled out a bowl and a spoon and began serving the ice cream. “If you ever want some more you don’t need to ask, you can have anything you want from the fridge. The pantry too, there’s some sweets I bought in there as well.” 

“Just hurry up and give me the ice cream so I can leave.” His tone was more dejected than rude. 

Saeyoung walked up to him to hand him the bowl. “If-if there’s anything you want from the store, just ask me and I’ll buy it. Or leave me a note if you don’t want to talk to me.” He had to remind himself to buy a notepad for Saeran to write notes for him on. 

Ray nodded and snatched away the bowl, rushing out of the kitchen. 

Saeyoung couldn’t help but smile at the exchange with his twin. That was the most interaction they’d had in a while, and it didn’t end with yelling or any form of animosity. 

‘This...is progress!’ He thought excitedly. 

“Jeez,” Vanderwood crossed his arms, “not even a thank you? I’m going to be real here, but your brother is kind of a little prick.” 

“He is not!” 

“I mean I see you bend over backwards for him all day every day and he just yells at you and says he hates you. I’m grateful that he kind of saved my life while you were having that little mental breakdown of yours, but seriously.” Vanderwood groaned. 

“Saeran is the kindest and most wonderful person I know! And I don’t deserve things like ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ anyway! I’m a worthless excuse for a big brother, I’ve hurt him so much, I deserve every insult I get.” 

“...yikes.” Vanderwood cleared his throat. ‘That’s one hell of a brother complex he’s got.’ He thought with a sigh. 

There was occasionally moments like this, where Saeyoung said something extremely self-deprecating like it was absolutely normal. They were _very_ concerning to Vanderwood. 

“Anyway if you still want to help with the kitchen I’d really appreciate it. I still need to work on my door, my power tools are too loud and I can’t use them at night so any time I can get during the day is useful.” Saeyoung put the ice cream back into the fridge. 

“You mean that 10-inch steel door that speaks Arabic you were talking about the other day? You’re seriously going to make that?” 

“I’ll spare no expense for Saeran’s safety. I’ll be upgrading security even more later when I finish. I’ve got plenty of things in mind.” 

“God...alright whatever, get going. Just...try to sleep some more alright? You’re really starting to worry me.” 

“Alright, thanks for the concern.” And with that, Saeyoung left the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally all 4 chapters are up! The next one will probably go up tomorrow. I'll try to write them as frequently as I can.


	5. Midnight Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanderwood bumps into Ray in the kitchen at night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vandy is so done with these twins lmao

Ray lay in the dark, nestled into the sheets of the bed Saeyoung had bought for him. It had a plush mattress and nice, thick sheets and was quite comfortable. And oh how _uncomfortable_ it made him to be treated so well without having earned it. it was made worse knowing that it was someone he hated showering him with affection. 

Though that statement _‘he hated’_ had become rather dubious as of late. He was torn, watching his brother work so hard for him day and night. But his Savior’s words rang true in his head, that person was someone he absolutely could not trust. Saeyoung took care of him when they were children too, but it didn’t stop him from leaving. Once he lowered his guard and fell for his brother’s kind act, he’d get tossed out like used garbage. So he stayed locked up in his room, unwilling to face his twin for long periods of time. 

He laid in bed most of the day, lacking the motivation for just about everything. The most he’d do in a day is eat and go to the bathroom. Occasionally, he’d shower. But that was about all. He missed the days when he didn’t have to live in constant fear of his twin’s honeyed words, fake apologies, and lies. 

In the beginning, he’d tried to fight back against Saeyoung’s onslaught of lies. He was refusing all food Saeyoung brought for him. But as the hunger pains grew and his rebellion drained (and the hopelessness of his situation set in), he eventually gave in and ate the food provided for him. 

Any contact his twin tried to make with him usually ended with yelling. With _‘go away’_ or _‘I hate you’_ or some random insult. He was trying his best to hurt his twin, so he’d give up and leave him alone. But nothing ever seemed to work. ‘Why won’t he just leave? He left me once, why won’t he just leave again?!’ 

But there was always a little tug of despair and panic at the thought of Saeyoung leaving again. At the same time as wanting to be left alone, he didn’t want Saeyoung to leave him. Now he was caught in a vicious cycle of love and hate, pulling him every which way until eventually he was torn apart completely. 

Saeyoung was killing him with love. 

He wished he could go back to Mint Eye, with the beautiful gardens he’d tended to. And the sweets that he just had to go to the kitchen to ask for. Nice pies, pastries, ice cream sundaes. 

...

And suddenly he was craving something sweet. 

‘Hyung said there were sweets in the pantry.’ He climbed out of bed, stumbling a bit at first from the lack of movement. He opened the door and exited the room. 

It’s a short walk from the his room to the kitchen, just needing to pass through the living room to get there. Which was good since it meant it wouldn’t be terribly hard to find his way in the dark, since Saeyoung was probably working in his hacking room and Ray didn’t want to alert him. 

He navigated through the maze of boxes (occasionally bumping into things since he couldn’t see) and found his way to the kitchen entrance. He turned the pantry light on and surveyed the contents. Finally he settled on a package of store bought blueberry muffins as his snack. 

He got through about two muffins before the kitchen light came on. 

He jumped in surprise, about to run away from what he assumed was his brother. But he realized it was actually Vanderwood standing there instead. 

“Oh it’s you. I was wondering how Zero Seven managed to wake up through all that Beanadryl I spiked his drink with.” He walked into the kitchen, making Ray take several steps back. “Oh! Muffins.” He grabbed one and took a bite. 

“Why are you still here?” Ray questioned. 

“I’ve occasionally been staying late here to help clean or unpack boxes. In reality I’m also staying to spike his drink with something to help him sleep. The kid won’t take sleep aids for some reason.” Vanderwood shrugged. He noticed Ray eyeing him weirdly and crossed his arms. “Oh, don’t look at me like that! He needs sleep!” 

“So you two...are close.” Ray stared down at his feet. 

“We’re not really supposed to be friends or anything, but I’ve known him longer than anyone in that RFA group he loves so much. From the era of the OCD Teenage Robot Wonderboy of the Agency to the Suicidal Buffoon that won’t do his goddamn work even if his life is on the line.” Vanderwood sighed, “And to whatever the hell he is now...maybe this is the depressed bro-con era?” 

Ray...didn’t know how he felt about someone being close to his brother. It gave him a weird feeling in his chest. 

“You shouldn’t get close to him...or he’ll abandon you too.” 

Vanderwood eyed Ray dubiously. “I sincerely doubt it. First of all, we’re not even friends (denial on both their parts) and second of all he really doesn’t seem the type to leave someone he cares about without a reason. He’s stayed with that V guy through all that craziness, he sticks to the RFA like glue.” He sighed. “I don’t know what happened between you two, but I’m sure there’s more to the story than you think.” He took another bite out of his muffin when he was suddenly struck with an idea. “Wait, wait, wait. How old were you when he left?” 

“We were 15.” 

“Well then of _course_ he left, he went to work at the Agency. You can’t work at the Agency if you have family. They won’t accept you.” 

“He could’ve taken me with him! I can hack!” 

“Trust me kid, if he loved you, he wouldn’t take you to the Agency.” 

“Just shut up!” Ray yelled, “Saeyoung abandoned me all alone to rot with Mother while he went to study abroad and make friends and have a good life without me.” 

“Hey shhhhh even on Beanadryl you might wake him up! And hold on there just a second no one said the Agency was a good place. It’s a shithole here! You don’t work at the Agency because you want to, you work here because you have no other choice. I don’t want to be an agent! I could die literally any day in any number of ways! You can’t have a family, you can’t have friends, you can have material things but you can’t have a life! It’s an insult to agents everywhere to say that the Agency is a good place to work.” Vanderwood was obviously frustrated with his own life as well as wanting to defend Saeyoung. He sighed. “Just talk to him, I’m sure there’s more to it! Just hear him out, for God’s sake!” 

“No I absolutely _cannot_ talk to Hyung!” 

“Why?” 

“Because if I do I might trust him again!” He threw his half eaten muffin on the floor and shoved Vanderwood aside to run off back to his room. 

Vanderwood grunted. “Neither of those brothers will listen to reason!” He huffed. “And he threw his goddamn muffin on the floor now I have to pick it up. _Ugh_.”


	6. 3 Desperate Attempts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ray's 3 attempts at getting Saeyoung to leave him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ughhh I spent all day at the DPS so this is coming out later than I wanted.

“Ray dinner’s ready!” Saeyoung called through the door. Today he’d made spaghetti with meat sauce, an easy but always yummy dish. 

He set the plate down and began to walk away. To his surprise the door swung open before he’d fully made it back to the kitchen. 

His brother stood in the doorway and picked up the plate. He looked his brother directly in the eyes and threw the plate across the room. 

The porcelain plate shattered, sending small shards across the room. The spaghetti splattered onto the floor and the sauce traveled a pretty good distance away. 

Saeyoung stared at the mess with surprise on his face. He looked back up at his brother, who was staring right at him, waiting for some reaction. 

“I’ll...go get you my portion.” Saeyoung finally said with an awkward smile. 

Ray slammed the door. 

—-

One night (at approximately 3am), Ray tiptoed quietly out of his room, making sure Vanderwood wasn’t there like last time, and walked into the kitchen. 

He pulled a bunch of random things from the pantry and the fridge and set them out on the table. 

First, he took a carton of milk and dumped it all over the floor, then he spilled a whole bag of flour, then a box of cereal. Cookies, uncooked spaghetti, bread, juice, raw meat, sugar--he emptied as much as he could all over the kitchen. 

The only thing he left untouched was the ice cream.

He was in the middle of throwing raw eggs at the wall when the lights came on. 

“Ray?” His brother stood at the doorway, stunned at the mess in the kitchen. 

Ray stood there, waiting for his brother to blow up. To scream or hit him or do something to justify his hatred. 

Instead, Saeyoung just stood in stunned silence a while. Then, once he gathered his words, “I’ll probably be at the store for a while tomorrow. Ah--I should make a list.” 

Ray stormed off back to his room. 

Saeyoung sighed and looked down at the spilled food. “I have to clean up quick before we get roaches.” 

He got to work.

\---

Saeyoung walked excitedly into the house, swinging the shopping back at his side. He walked up to his brother’s room. “Ray, I bought you something! I’ll leave it at your door.” He carefully put down the shopping bag and walked away. The door opened slightly and a hand popped out to retrieve the bag. 

“Zero Seven,” Vanderwood began cautiously, “why did I just see you come in with a bag from the Pear store?” 

“I bought Ray a new zPhone! He’s always alone in his room but he has nothing to do, so I got him a phone.”

“What?!”

“It’s even already got a bunch of my favorite books, games, and songs downloaded to it. And I hooked up a prepaid card to the app store so he can get other things he’s interested in.” 

“Are you an idiot?!”

Saeyoung stared in confusion. “I don’t get it, what’s wrong?” 

Vanderwood sighed and raked a hand through his hair. “He’s a _hacker!_ Why did you give him access to an electronic device?!”

“Because, I want him to have fun.” Saeyoung shrugged. “It’s no good to be all alone with just your thoughts all the time.” 

“707 you’re making a horrible decision.” 

“I want him to have nice things. I don’t know what he likes so I got him something that can be used in a lot of different ways.” 

“ _Ugh_ alright whatever.” Vanderwood walked away in frustration.

A couple days later, all of Saeyoung’s work on his current Agency job had disappeared.   
“I swear I did it! I’ve worked on it every night!” Saeyoung desperately searched his computer for his work.” 

“This deadline for his job is due in a few days! Where is it?!” 

“I don’t know I--”

A sudden realization dawned on them. 

“Oh that little prick! He hacked you! I knew it!”

Saeyoung hurriedly checked for traces of hacking on his computer, and sure enough, they were there. 

“Well? Are you just going to sit there? Do something!” Vanderwood yelled. 

“I’ll...go talk to Ray.” 

Saeyoung walked to his brother’s room. He knocked, “Ray, I’m coming in.” Surprisingly, he didn’t get any backlash. He took a deep breath before entering.

Ray sat on his bed, holding his new phone. 

Saeyoung approached cautiously. “Ray,” he began, “All the work I’ve been doing disappeared from my computer...do you know anything about it?”

“Yeah. I hacked your computer and deleted everything I could find.” Ray watched him closely. 

Saeyoung bit his lip and furrowed his brow. “Could I see your phone?” He outstretched his hand. 

Ray handed over his phone. 

Saeyoung spent a little time checking some things. To Ray’s surprise, he handed back the phone immediately after he finished. “You could be in a lot of danger messing with things from the Agency. Please be more careful, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

He left the room after that. 

“Woah, woah, woah, _hold on!_ Where are you going?!” Vanderwood yelled at Saeyoung as he passed. 

“I’m _going_ to go do the work I just lost.” He answered. 

“At least punish him!” 

“Punish? I’m not his parent, I don’t have the authority to do that.” 

“Then _take the damn phone!_ ” Vanderwood growled.

“I just checked the weekly usage on the settings app, he’s been using a bunch of the apps and reading, too. It’s his only source of entertainment, I don’t want to take it away from him.” Saeyoung began to walk away. 

Vanderwood grabbed his shoulder. “Dammit Zero Seven quit with the patient Mother Teresa attitude and _do something!_ ” 

Saeyoung brushed off his hand. “Vanderwood get it through your head I _kidnapped_ him and am holding him here _against his will!_ Patience has nothing to do with it! Anything he does is _my_ responsibility! I’ll get the work done, alright, I already did it once it won’t be hard to do again.” 

“Zero Seven--” 

Suddenly a loud noise came from inside Ray’s bedroom. 

Saeyoung ran over and threw open the door. “Saeran! Are you okay?!” He asked worriedly. 

Ray was on his bed, huffing with anger. Saeyoung looked down and saw the phone in laying in pieces near the wall.

Saeyoung eyed the broken present he’d bought with an unreadable expression. Silently, he picked up the pieces and left the room, closing the door. 

A few tears slipped from his eye as he threw the broken pieces into the trash can. Vanderwood watched him with a worried expression. 

“Luciel, a--”

“I have to go do my work.” Saeyoung walked back to his hacking room and didn’t come out for the rest of the night. 

Meanwhile, Ray laid in bed, screaming into his pillow in frustration. His throat was hoarse the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to anyone that's reading! I hope you guys like the story so far! It's pretty angsty right now lol even I'm frustrated. But things will get better eventually, I hope you guys keep reading 'til then!


	7. Flashbacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung creates a robot dog for extra security, but it goes haywire and starts attacking indiscriminately. After they catch it, Saeyoung ends up revealing some secrets he's been keeping for this last month.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I didn't post this last night, it ended up much longer than I thought! 2,000 words jeez!

Vanderwood was busy making food in the kitchen. He’d given Saeyoung the day off, though he had no clue what the younger man was doing with that free time. 

Suddenly, there was a loud _crash!_

“Hey, get back here!” He heard Saeyoung cry from the other room. “Get back!” 

A robotic dog suddenly burst into the kitchen. “Intruder detected! Switching into protection mode!” The dog started running towards Vanderwood. 

Then, fire began to spew from its mouth. 

“Gyahhhh!” He yelled and jumped out of the way. “Why is it spitting fire!” 

“I’ll explain later, just run for now! It’s detected you as an intruder!” 

Vanderwood ran out of the kitchen and into the living room. The robot dog followed. 

“Intruder disposal in progress!” Fire rushed out of its mouth again. 

“Disposal?!” 

“It’s just terminology, it’s only meant to repel the intruder! It wouldn’t actually burn anyone to death...I think.” Saeyoung ran towards the dog. “Command override: protection mode off!” 

“Override not recognized.” 

“Why isn’t it listening to you?!” Vanderwood screamed. The dog was once again chasing him, easily navigating through the furniture he tried throwing down to block it with. 

“I haven’t finished programming it yet! But it suddenly turned on and is now running with an incomplete set of orders and means of identification!’ He turned to the dog again. “Operation: force shutdown!” 

The dog turned off. Then turned back on again, “Thermal analysis positive, Intruder detected!” It resumed attacking. 

“Why’d it turn back on?!” 

“It’s programmed to automatically turn on when the thermal detectors detect heat sources in the room. But right now I haven’t had the chance to program a method of intruder verification!” 

“Why is it only attacking me?!” 

“Voice analysis, it recognizes me as its creator so it won’t attack me. There’s a force manual shutdown button on its abdomen, if I get close to it I can press it!” 

Vanderwood leapt onto a table to avoid the stream of fire. “Well, hurry!” 

Meanwhile, Ray couldn’t help but come see what all the commotion was about just outside his room. He opened the door and took a small step out. He was shocked to see that there was a fire-breathing robot dog chasing Vanderwood in the living room. 

“What’s going on?!” 

The dog paused its pursuit of Vanderwood. “Thermal analysis positive, intruder detected! Commencing intruder disposal!” It began to run after Ray, who was too stunned and confused to react. 

Saeyoung panicked. He body slammed into it just before the stream of fire could reach Ray, slamming into the wall. He flipped onto his back wrestled it to keep its limbs in the air to stop it from escaping.

“Physical trauma detected! Commencing self-preservation mode!” And fire rushed from the dog’s mouth directly onto Saeyoung’s forearm, causing him to yelp.

“ _Gah!_ ” He tried to hold it in place despite the pain and reached for the button on its abdomen. Finally, he found it, and the stream of fire stopped. 

The dog shut off. Everybody breathed. 

He shoved the dog off of him and sat up, wincing at the pain. He surveyed the burn on his arm. The sight of scalded tissue sent a memory back through him, and suddenly, a massive headache overtook him. Then, for just a second, was a child again, being burned with the end of a cigarette alongside his brother. 

It sent a massive wave of panic through him. “No, no, _stop burning us!_ ” He cried out, hands tangling into his hair from the pain in his head. Then, suddenly, he was back again. He was back, as an adult, staring down at a burn on his forearm from a robot dog. 

“Eh?” He was so dazed for a moment that he forgot the pain. 

“Hyung?” Ray was staring at him with concern on his face. Ray seeing his brother being hurt so badly reminded him of their childhood, and filled him with incredible dread. He felt sick to his stomach. 

“A-ah…” Saeyoung was frozen, once again reduced to a deer in the headlights. ‘Shit! It happened in front of Saeran!’ 

Vanderwood was the one to snap him out of his stupor. “Why are you just sitting there?! You need to get that under cold water quick! It’s at least a second degree burn!” He grabbed Saeyoung by his non-scorched arm and dragged him to the kitchen. 

Ray followed the two of them wordlessly. 

Vanderwood stuck Saeyoung’s arm under the running water. “I’ll go get some burn gel and bandages.” He walked off to the other room. 

Saeyoung could feel Ray’s eyes on his back, and felt embarrassed and ashamed for appearing so weak in front of his brother. Ray was silent, and he thanked god for it. The last thing his brother needed was to be weighed down by his silly problems. 

Vanderwood returned with the necessary items. “Zero Seven come sit at the table so I can treat your burn.” 

Saeyoung complied. 

Ray still stood in the doorway to the kitchen. Some strange compulsion inside him was keeping him there to make sure his brother was okay. 

The room was silent as Vanderwood treated the burn. He rested his hands on his knees. “Sooo…are you going to tell me what happened earlier?” 

Saeyoung stared down at his feet. “It was nothing. It’s over now anyway so it doesn’t matter.” 

“It didn’t seem like nothing. And I have a nagging suspicion that this might not be the first time that’s happened. Or the last.” 

Saeyoung peered at his brother for a split-second, who was still watching intently, then went back to staring at his feet. “I’m fine.” He bit his lip. 

Vanderwood noticed this split-second, and finally spoke. “Hey kid...Ray, can we have some privacy? I want to talk to him.” 

Ray wanted to protest, but swallowed his words and turned around to start towards his room. He reached the door, then opened it, then by an impulse decision, closed it again without actually stepping inside. He snuck around the living room and flattened himself against the wall near the kitchen doorway, so as to not be seen, but still be able to listen in. He knew eavesdropping was wrong, but there was a tight feeling in his chest that made him want to stay. 

“Alright, the kid’s gone. Now can you talk?” Vanderwood questioned his colleague. 

“I...it really isn’t that big of a deal. It’s just something that’s been happening lately. It was...just a memory.” He explained. 

“A memory? You mean a flashback?” Vanderwood asked for clarification. “Of what?” 

Saeyoung nodded his head slowly. “Seeing that burn...made me think of Mother burning us with the end of a cigarette when she was angry at us.” 

“How long has this been going on? I don’t remember seeing you act like that before.” 

“Ever since Saeran came back…things just started happening.” 

Ray couldn’t help but feel a twinge if guilt after hearing that. 

“Things? As in plural? So there’s more going on?” Vanderwood asked. 

“Well...I haven’t been able to sleep lately…” Saeyoung trailed off. 

“Yeah you still haven’t told me about that. And why won’t you take sleep medication?” 

“I don’t want to sleep.” 

Vanderwood looked shocked. “You don’t want to? Why the hell not?!” 

“I’ve been having nightmares.” Saeyoung said, looking guilty. 

‘Saeyoung has nightmares, too?’ Ray thought. Even as a kid, his brother never mentioned having any. He’d always assumed Saeyoung was too strong to have them. 

“Of what? Your mother?” 

“No not her. She hurt us...but she wasn’t necessarily scary, even though she could scare us occasionally by doing something really bad. She always hurt us, so we sort of knew what to expect with her.” 

“So what are the nightmares of?” 

“Every time I go to sleep...I dream of the men in black suits. Sometimes they’re just trailing behind me, and I’ll have to avoid them or hide from them. Other times they’re taking me away. And the worst ones are when they follow me home and take away Saeran...and in all of them I’m too weak to do anything.” Tears trailed down his face. “I hate that feeling! I hate being a kid! Why would I want to go back to that time?! When I was too weak to protect anyone! I couldn’t do anything...against them or against mother. I was powerless and useless!” 

Ray felt surprised hearing that, his brother calling himself weak. ‘But Hyung was always the strong one?’ 

“So I haven’t been sleeping. I thought I could handle it, but I was disoriented earlier and accidentally activated the robot dog early. I made such a stupid mistake! So...I don’t know what to do.” 

“Is there nothing that you think will help with the nightmares?” Vanderwood asked. He wanted Saeyoung to sleep, but those nightmares sounded pretty brutal. 

“There’s one thing...but it’s not an option.” 

“Why?” 

“When I used to have nightmares as a kid, I’d hold Saeran close to me. When he was in my arms, I always felt more at ease. I wouldn’t have nightmares if I had him right next to me.” Saeyoung remembered the memory fondly, smiling a little as he spoke. 

“You’re right...that is sort of off the table.” No way was Ray going to agree to something like that. “But I don’t know what to say, you need sleep. Today proves it.” 

“I know. Saeran could’ve gotten hurt because of me. I need to stop being such a little bitch and sleep.” 

“Speaking of him…” Vanderwood began cautiously, “why won’t you talk about your problems in front of him? You looked like I was putting you on trial or something.” 

Saeyoung paused, then spoke. “Saeran has always had it harder than me. Mom used to torture him more since he was smaller and weaker. She hated me, so I was able to go outside. But there were the men in black suits outside, and sure they were scary, but Saeran had his own problems, so I just never told him about them. It’s the same thing now. I don’t want to be a burden on him...especially when I’m too useless to help him with his problems.” 

“Hey don’t be too hard on yourself.” Vanderwood sighed. “Start taking sleep some sleep medication and let’s hope for the best. How long has it been since you last slept, just out of curiosity?” 

“I don’t know...like 3, maybe 4 days?” 

“4 days?!” Vanderwood’s jaw dropped. 

“Or 3!” 

“That’s not much better! Jesus Christ it’s no wonder you messed up earlier! Go sleep right now, I’ll take care of the chores. I’ll make your brother dinner too so don’t worry about it.” Vanderwood scolded.

“Okay.” 

Vanderwood got up to start leaving the kitchen, while Saeyoung was grabbing the first aid things to put away. When Vanderwood got to the hallway, however, he was greeted by the sight of Ray still pressed against the wall, caught red-handed. Ray went pale at being caught. 

Vanderwood swallowed his surprise and didn’t comment on it. Instead, he turned back to Saeyoung. “On second thought, why don’t you get some ice cream first to calm you down?” 

“Oh! Ice cream sounds nice right now.” 

Ray took the provided opportunity to make his escape, quietly entering his room and shutting the door. 

He didn’t quite know how to cope with what he’d just heard, so he just crawled under the covers of his bed. 

‘Hyung was the strong one, I was the weak one. That’s why he left me—because I was weak.’ But he was full of doubt at his own words. He tried to think back to childhood, to try and remember if his brother had ever told him about nightmares, but he found nothing. ‘I thought he was too strong for nightmares.’ 

Nothing about nightmares, nothing about men in black suits, nothing. How much had his brother hidden from him? 

‘Hyung called himself weak, useless, and a burden…’ Those were all things Ray had called himself. 

He didn’t want to think too hard about it right now, so he just curled up into a ball and tried to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I did a good job with this chapter lol it's such an important one for the story. For some psychological context, what Saeyoung and Saeran would have is called Complex PTSD. It's basically PTSD caused by repeated, prolonged trauma rather than a singular event. It's got all of the symptoms of PTSD, but affects the individuals sense of identity as well. People with c-PTSD can typically function and also will usually hide their pain, especially is they repress those bad memories (which Saeoyung was basically forced to do, the whole 'forget his past' for the agency). What happened here with Saeyoung, a sudden onset of symptoms, is something that actually happens commonly when an individual has those memories dug up again (for example having to talk about them in therapy). But for poor Saeyoung he's more having a bunch of memories forcibly shoved down his throat and has no source of support to help him with any of it. Both Saeran and Saeyoung would have adverse reactions to bad memories (which I included both) but sudden onset vs prolonged exposure would make for very different symptoms. 
> 
> Gahhh I feel so bad for him why did I write something so sad T-T. Ah I was trying to be accurate with what I thought might actually happen to him in such a hard situation. Also, I don't think people understand how traumatic being constantly followed by creepy men that want to catch and murder you would be. Especially since he never knew when to expect something happening. It sounds horrifying ;;;. Like yeah he got to go outside which was good and all but having to constantly fear for your life while your a weak kid that couldn't fight back in a horrible situation sounds really terrifying. Or maybe that's just me???
> 
> Anyway I hope y'all like this extra long chapter lol.


	8. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanderwood confronts Ray about eavesdropping. Then, shows Ray evidence that his brother didn’t forget him.

Saeyoung stared at his computer. He was totally still, unblinking, basking in the sweet sight of the pictures on the screen. 

“What are you looking at so attentively?” 

“Gah! Vanderwood, Jesus, don’t sneak up on me like that.” 

“I just walked up to you like normal.” Vanderwood shrugged. “So what are you looking at?” He leaned down to see the computer screen. “Old selfies? I don’t remember you ever smiling like that, you were a total robot back then.” 

“You don’t need to bring that up.” He was flustered thinking of his past self. “And no, they aren’t photos of me.” 

Vanderwood raised a brow. “Uh, are you sure?” 

“They’re of Saeran.” 

It clicked in Vanderwood’s head. “Oh yeahhh. The bleached hair and green eyes threw me off. Naturally, you too would look exactly alike, huh?” 

“Mm, we don’t look _exactly_ alike. Saeran’s always been cuter.” Saeyoung smiled fondly. “And his eyes are slightly more almond than mine. But we’re almost identical...or at least, we used to be…” He trailed off. 

“Hold on, why do you have pictures of him?” 

“I guess there’s no use hiding it now that you know about Saeran.” He ejected the floppy disk from the compartment on his computer and held it up for Vanderwood to see. “Remember that fairy tale book I got for my 20th birthday? This floppy disk was hidden inside it. It was a gift from Rika to show me that Saeran was happy and alright. And...it was all a lie.” 

“What?! You know you’re not supposed to have personal belongings if you’re an agent!” 

“Yeah, that’s why it was _hidden._ ” Saeyoung shrugged. “It doesn’t matter anymore anyway.” 

“I guess.” Vanderwood huffed. “Anyway, the Agency just sent you’re next assignment.” He handed Saeyoung the manilla envelope. “The deadline is two months. You gonna take the job?” 

Saeyoung took the papers from the envelope and skimmed over them. “Seems easy enough. Yeah, I’ll accept this assignment. I’ll get to work on it right after I finish making dinner.” He switched off his computer and pushed himself away from the desk. He got up and began walking to the kitchen. 

Vanderwood took one last look at the floppy disk, then followed the redheaded hacker.   
—-

Ray sat on his bed, reading a book he’d swiped off of Saeyoung’s shelf. There was a knock at the door. 

The door opened before Ray could reply. “Yeah, sorry I’m not nearly as polite as your brother.” Vanderwood stepped into the room. 

“You haven’t gone home yet?” 

“I’m staying over again. Your brother’s asleep right now so I thought this was a good opportunity to talk about the other day.” 

Oh no. 

“Why were you eavesdropping on us in the kitchen? I told you to give us some privacy.” Vanderwood had his hands on his hips. 

Ray tensed up. He really didn’t want to talk about it, he felt guilty enough already. “I just wanted to know why hyung acted so weird. I’ve never seen him like that…” 

“And? What’d you think?”

Ray paused for a few moments. “It was...surprising.” He but his lip. “I didn’t know hyung got nightmares, too. I thought he was too strong to get nightmares.” 

Vanderwood raised a brow. “Too strong to get nightmares? Is any human too strong to get nightmares?” 

Ray paused to think. “Hyung never told me anything about men in black suits… or about nightmares. I just assumed he didn’t get them. And Saeyoung called himself weak, too. But that doesn’t make any sense—he was the strong one! ” 

“I know. That’s exactly what he said he did. He didn’t want to be a burden on you. And even though he was stronger than you, it doesn’t mean he’d be stronger than everyone else.” 

“But I was the burden when we were kids! I was the weak one Saeyoung was always protecting, I thought that was why he left me—because he got tired of me.” Ray looked down at his lap. 

Vanderwood sighed. “That kid’s crazy about you. Let me tell you a bit about him before you started living here. He never did his work on time—which is an absolutely suicidal thing to do at the Agency. All he ate was junk food and he drank a ton of Phd. Pepper. He never cleaned the house, I was practically his maid picking up all the stuff he’d leave on the floor and cleaning everything. He didn’t take anything seriously, he was always making dumb jokes and pulling stupid pranks. He was a major pacifist, ever since he joined he adamantly refused to pull the trigger on missions, even when his life was at stake. Instead he trained hard on going incognito, perfect infiltration without getting caught to avoid conflict. Of course he got caught a few times, but he’d just find some clever way to escape. All in all, he was a lazy idiot that didn’t care about his life.”

Ray was silent. 

“Then, after you came along, he changed completely. He does his work on time, he cooks, he cleans, he acts serious—he even tried to kill me to protect you, even if he didn’t have the guts to actually do it.” He sighed again. “It’s still so surprising seeing him like this, diligent and responsible. And he only started acting this way after you came back.” 

Ray was choked up hearing all these things. “But he left me to go abroad…he forgot about me.”

Suddenly, an idea struck Vanderwood. “No, he didn’t and I have evidence of it. Come on I’ll show you.” ‘Maybe with this we’ll actually be able to get through to the kid. Why didn’t 707 think of doing this sooner?’ 

Vanderwood started off to the hacking room. Some force compelled Ray to follow, even though he didn’t want to believe Saeyoung cared for him. But something inside him desperately wanted to see what Vanderwood was talking about. 

They arrived at the hacking room. “Let’s see, he said it was in the fairy tale book, aha!” He pulled out the floppy disk from the book’s pages. “I just learned about the existence of this thing yesterday. Could you hack into his computer for me?” 

Ray stared at him in shock from the request. 

“I only need you to get through the password so we can use the computer to read the disk.” Vanderwood explained. 

Ray complied with the request and sat at Saeyoung’s hacking chair to begin. After a few minutes of typing, the computer logged in. 

Vanderwood slipped the disk into the cartridge and waited. The next moment, the screen was covered with photos of Saeran, Ray even recognized some of them. 

“He said he got this from that Rika girl in the mail hidden in a fairy tale book for his 20th birthday. Age 20 was around the time he stopped being a total robot and started freeing himself. I wonder if this has something to do with it.” Vanderwood put his hands on his hips. “But see! Concrete evidence that he didn’t forget about you!” 

Ray stared at the computer, shocked. He didn’t know what to do, what to think. His Savior...Rika was the one to give Saeyoung this? But she was the one who told him Saeyoung forgot about him! ‘Did Savior lie to me…?’ 

This was too much for him to handle. “Lies! All of it’s a lie! It’s forged, he must’ve hacked to get them! There’s no way Savior would lie to me! Stop trying to trick me!” Tears fell from his eyes and he ran back to his room, slamming the door. 

Vanderwood crossed his arms. ‘ _Tch_ , he’s as stubborn as a mule.’ He thought for a moment. ‘And who is this Savior person he mentioned? Someone else told him all that crap about his brother forgetting him?’ 

He sighed and ejected the floppy disk from the computer’s cartridge, putting it back into the fairy tale book. He switched the computer back off. ‘No luck I guess. But how can he be so stubborn? It’s abnormal in every sense of the word.’ 

‘The kid’ll come around eventually.’ He decided, and left the hacking room to get some rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh I actually managed to post at a time before midnight lol. I dunno if I like this chapter but I hope it’s okay. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	9. The Calm Before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung gets lunch with MC and asks her some personal questions. MC later shares a theory about Ray with him.

_Ring ring_

_Ring ring_

‘A call from V.’ Saeyoung pressed the green answer button. “V, what’s up?” 

_“Hi Saeyoung, how are you?”_

“I’m managing. Things aren’t as bad as they were before and I’m sleeping more now too, so overall I’m not doing horrible.” 

_“That’s good. I called to ask something, I didn’t want to rush you since you’re in such a difficult situation right now… when are you coming back to the messenger? It’s been a month, everyone’s worried for you. Yoosung is especially concerned, he said you were acting weird when you left the hospital that day.”_

“Oh when I ditched him? Yeah I guess that would seem pretty worrisome… but V, I just can’t come back to the messenger as I am. I’m not the one they want…” 

_“Pardon?”_

“I’m not the happy-go-lucky 707 that can annoy them and make them laugh. I’m just boring, depressing Saeyoung with tons of emotional baggage to weigh them down.” 

_“They all care about you, they won’t judge if you show emotions once in a while. Anyway, they accepted and supported me through all my problems, in sure they’d do the same for you.”_

“...alright, I’ll think about coming back. Was that all you wanted to say?”

_“I had one more thing to talk about. Now that I’ve recovered fully from my surgery I’m planning on leaving for a trip outside the country. I’ll be gone for a while, and I’m not totally sure where I plan to go, but I hope I can find myself and become someone MC can be proud of.”_

Saeyoung couldn’t help but smile a little. “It’s amazing how much she’s changed you. Alright, I hope you have a good trip. But speaking of leaving the country…” 

_“Oh no, you’re not still thinking of leaving South Korea are you?”_

“It’d solve all our problems! We could escape and start new lives!” 

_“But what about the life you already have? You’re talking about leaving forever, Saeyoung. Your friends would miss you!”_

“I know… don’t worry too much. Saeran would never agree to leaving with me anyway, so for now you don’t have anything to worry about.” 

_“Alright. Please think about coming back to the messenger. Everyone’s really worried.”_

“I will...bye.” 

_“Bye.”_

They hung up. Saeyoung put down the ingredients he was chopping to run a hand through his hair. ‘They’d support and accept me…? There’s no way they’d do something like that!’ His friends just weren’t the type you’d trust with emotional problems. 

Anyway, the real one to support and accept V was ‘MC…’ he pondered a bit. ‘She might be someone safe I could talk to, I’ve always had an easy time talking to her.’

He pulled up MC’s contact on the messenger and began typing. 

707: U free for lunch today?

After a few moments, he received a reply.

MC: Of course! Pick me up at 2! 

—-

Saeyoung parked in front of MC’s apartment, stepping out of his vehicle. 

MC stood outside, dressed in a cute pink dress, a jean jacket, brown boots, and a hat to go with it. She’d obviously dressed up for the occasion, though Saeyoung couldn’t imagine why. 

“I’ve never seen a real Porschuh before!” She exclaimed, taking out her phone to take a picture. “So cool!” 

“Wow, someone that can appreciate the beauty of my babies, finally!” He joked. “If you think this is impressive, you should see the way she drives.” 

“I can’t wait! But honestly, I thought we were going to have a lunch date, not go shopping. But those _bags_ under your eyes tell me otherwise.” 

“Would you believe me if I told you they used to be worse? Plus I’m positive I’m not the one you want to be having dates with.” He stroked his chin in mock deliberation. “If you can’t have the father you’ll take the son? How greedy.” 

She colored, then tossed her head back in laughter. “I’ll wait for him however long it takes, but for today I’ll accept you as my escort. Let’s go!” She grabbed his arm and they walked to his car. 

\---

Around 15 minutes later, they were parked in an empty parking lot with to-go boxes of takeout resting on their laps. 

“I hope you don’t mind eating in my car, I don’t want to be out in public right now.” 

“Um, are you actually asking if I’m _alright_ with eating takeout in your awesome car? Of course I’m alright with it! Plus, this is a safe space for you, it’ll be easier for you to talk here.” 

MC really was perceptive.

“So did you want to talk about your brother?” She asked, taking some lo mein into her mouth. 

“Actually, I had something else I wanted to talk about with you first…”

She looked surprised. “Sure, what’s on your mind?” 

He hesitated. Did he really want to reveal such a big secret? But if he wanted to stay friends with everyone, he really had to. “What would you say...If I told you the person you knew as 707 was fake...that that person wasn’t me?” 

MC paused to think a while. “Well, I’d wonder what you meant by fake. And saying you’re not that person...means you were pretending to be someone else this whole time?”

“Yeah.” He confirmed. “This whole time I’ve been lying to all of you about who I am. I’m not really perpetually fun and happy, I’m actually a dark and pessimistic person. What would you think of me? Would you still want to be friends with a person like that?” 

“You’re a really good actor, you could give Zen a run for his money.” She paused. “I’d still want to get to know you, even if you weren’t the person I came to be friends with.” She looked directly at him. “I guess that makes this our first meeting, huh? I’m MC, It’s nice to meet you.” She smiled. 

“You aren’t disturbed at all? After learning what a liar I am?” 

“Not in the slightest, I’m sure you had your reasons, I won’t judge you for something I don’t know.” She lifted an eggroll to her mouth.” Anyway, this you bought me takeout. I’m liking you already.”

Saeyoung was taken aback by her reaction. “You’re such a strong and positive person. I wish I could be like that. Maybe if I were, I’d be able to support my brother. I want to be there for him, but I don’t know how. He hates me, and won’t believe anything I say. I don’t know how to confront him about this--I’m too much of a coward to face him properly. All I can do is take care of him as best as I can and pray that he’ll come to forgive me.”

“Saeyoung, what’s Ray’s real name?” 

Saeyoung looked down at his lap. “It’s Saeran.” He looked back up at her. “Why…?”

“Saeyoung and Saeran. Those names fit together like puzzle pieces.” She looked him in the eyes. “You two were born together, I’m sure you were meant to be with each other forever. That’s why you to are back together again.” She smiled. “You love him so much, I’m sure he’ll see that sincerity within you just like I have. Just give it time.” 

He gave her a small smile. “You really are a good person to talk to. To be honest, I don’t think I could tell the others the things I’ve told you. They wouldn’t have the same reaction....I doubt they’d accept what I had to say as truth so easily.”

“Aww, you make me feel so special. But you don’t give them enough credit.” She stopped. “Alright, I’ll admit they’re a bit dim when it comes to interpersonal relations, but if you explain it well enough I’m sure they’d understand.”

“Yeah but I have no idea how to do that.” Saeyoung sighed. 

“You don’t to tell them straight up that you’ve been lying to them this whole time. You can just...change. They’ll get used to the new you eventually. Plus, I don’t think all of that person was fake. I don’t think they’d dislike you as you are now. I think I like you better this way, honestly.” 

“Really?!” 

“You’re more sincere like this. And you give off an interesting vibe. It makes me want to know more about you.” 

He adjusted his glasses. “I don’t really get it, maybe it’s because you don’t know me well enough.”

“Saeyoung, just because you don’t like the person you are doesn’t mean everyone will feel the same way.” 

Saeyoung never really thought about it that way. It was true that he hated himself, but he never considered the idea that he might be biased. 

“Maybe you’re right…alright I’ll give it a shot. I’ll come back to the messenger tomorrow.” 

“Haha that’s the spirit!”

“Thanks for talking to me, this was just weighing on my mind a bit today.” He sighed. “You said you had some things to say about Saeran right?” 

“Yeah, there’s something that’s been bothering me, ever since the whole Rika fiasco…” MC took a deep breath. 

The look on her face made Saeyoung dread whatever she had to say next. 

“You know how, just for a day, there was a second hacker and Ray disappeared for a while?”

“Ah yeah, I've been wondering what happened to that guy.” 

“What if there was never a second hacker, that it was all your brother…” 

Saeyoung’s brow raised in surprise. “But their hacking style totally changed. One was all defense and the other was all attack.” 

“But the whole time I was there I heard nothing about there being a second hacker! And think about it, if there were two ace hackers wouldn’t it make more sense to use them both at the same time? They’d easily overpower you that way!” 

Saeyoung thought it over for a minute. “You’re right, that would’ve made much more sense.”

“On the messenger I got to talk to him, and I had a phone call with him, and he talked like he and Ray were the same person...but out at different times. I think I remember him saying Ray was ‘sleeping’ while he was there. I know it doesn’t make much sense but I think they were both your brother.” 

“I don’t understand, are you suggesting that my brother has some sort of second personality or something?” 

MC tensed her lips. “Rika was really sick, I know she definitely had Ray on that crazy drug. Maybe...she did other things to him too. I don’t think it’s impossible that Ray developed some sort of mental illness from trauma or something.” 

“You’re actually suggesting that my brother might have Dissociative Identity Disorder?” Saeyoung looked at her in disbelief. 

“Well, yeah. He even calls himself by a different name.” 

“I went by Luciel for a decade! And I know I said I was a different person, but it didn’t mean I had Dissociative Identity Disorder! It’s not that abnormal to change your name!” He desperately didn’t want to believe this scary possibility. 

“I know that! But you weren’t there to hear him talking on the phone! He had the same voice! And talked like he and Ray shared the same actions or something!” 

“N-No way something like that could be true…” Saeyoung trailed off. 

“Just think it over a bit, or maybe confront him about it. I might be wrong after all.” 

Saeyoung nodded. 

He looked at the time. “It’s getting late, I still need to make Saeran dinner, I should get going.” 

“Yeah, sounds good. It was nice getting to chat with you, let’s get lunch together again sometime.” 

“Sure…” he answered but MC’s previous words were still on his mind. 

He drove MC back to her apartment and started on his way home.

—-

While Saeyoung was away he’d tasked Vanderwood with watching his twin. 

He knocked on Ray’s door. “Hey, kid, I’ve got your lunch.” 

Ray opened the door. “Why are you bringing me food today?” It was infrequent that Saeyoung would leave the house without telling him first. 

“Your brother’s out with a girl.” 

“A girl?” 

“Yeah. With the girl we spent a few days with in that cabin. The one spending lots of time around V.” 

“You mean MC?! He’s out on a date with MC?!” His stomach sank. 

“Ehh, I wonder if it really is a date. He’s been ignoring the whole RFA lately so I was wondering earlier if she was special to him or something.” 

“He and MC are dating…?” Ray felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. He’d chosen MC because of how likeable she was, she was someone anyone could fall for. But he’d never imagined his brother falling in love with her. 

“Even back at the cabin I asked him if he reason he was so gloomy was because he liked that girl but she was all over V, but he said he wasn’t childish enough for that. Maybe it really was true?” 

Ray bit his lip in anxiety. 

“Anyway here’s your lunch.” Vanderwood handed it to Ray. “I’ve got to go do the dishes. Don’t spontaneously combust or anything, or your brother might kill me.” He closed Ray’s door on his way out. 

Ray set the plate down on his nightstand, he’d totally lost his appetite at Vanderwood’s words. He felt like he was going to vomit, his stomach turning in knots. 

MC was so loveable, Saeyoung would leave him in a flash to go run away with her. All Ray had been doing was pushing Saeyoung away but he never thought someone would _pull_ him away. 

Suddenly he was hit with a bad headache. He fell to the ground at the excruciating pain. He felt so angry that his brother would be so easily seduced. Again! 

His brother had been telling him this whole time how sorry he was for leaving and that he never should have believed V, but he goes and let’s someone pull him away just as easily all over again! 

Saeyoung had never meant it, any of those promises and apologies, they were all lies. He wouldn’t let Saeyoung get away with doing this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh...is that a foreboding title I see?? Eh when the next chapter is gonna be an eventful one, I hope I do a good job with it. Anyway I hope you like this chapter. I want Saeyoung and MC to be close friends since they get along so well. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	10. Ray and Saeran

Saeyoung murmured an Arabic phrase into the door and stepped inside. 

“Oh your back, does this mean I’m off duty?” Vanderwood leapt from the couch. 

“Yeah you’re free.” Saeyoung confirmed with a small smile. 

“Nice! I’m going to take the rest of the day off and get a drink.” He pressed the button to open the door. “I hate this stupid door of yours, now I have to carry around an Arabic dictionary with me. See you tomorrow.” 

“Bye.” 

Saeyoung was finally alone. His thoughts were a mess, the things MC said still floating around his brain. 

But one thing she said was absolutely true. Rika was very mentally unstable while Saeran was working at that place, who knows what she might’ve done to him. ‘Saeran…’ he thought, a grimace on his face, ‘just what happened to you while you were working there?’ 

“Back from your little lunch date already?”

A voice startled Saeyoung from his thoughts. He turned around to look at his brother. Saeran stood in the doorway to his bedroom, arms crossed with a sour look on his face. “Ray… you surprised me.” 

“Don’t call me that!” Saeran shouted. 

Saeyoung tensed and immediately shut up. 

“Marshmallow boy is taking a nap right now. You really scared him half to death earlier.” He began walking towards Saeyoung. “Boo hoo hyung is going to run away with MC and leave me all alone. MC is such a likeable girl, of course Saeyoung would abandon me for her. God I had to listen to all that gross whining of his.” He stopped right in front of his brother. “And it’s all your fault.” 

Saeyoung swallowed down the lump in his throat. “S-Saeran…” 

“There you go, that’s the right name. Though you don’t deserve to say _that_ name either.” He scrunched his face in anger. “You little liar, you think you can just run away with MC and go live happily ever after and I’m just going to be okay with it? God you’re such an idiot.” He got close to Saeyoung's face, making his brother lean back. 

“I don’t know what you heard, but I’m not running away with MC. We’re only friends.” 

“ _Tch._ Yeah right, only friends my ass. You think I can just believe the words that come out of that pretty little mouth of yours? Of course I can’t! You abandoned me once and you’d do it again.” 

“Saeran, I’ll never abandon you!” 

“LIAR!” He shoved Saeyoung, causing him to stumble several steps back. “You left me all alone to be tortured by Mother! I waited for you! I thought you were taken away by Father!”

“I only wanted to protect you! I would have never left if I’d known V would lie to me!” 

“You left me because I was weak! You left because you got tired of me!” 

“No, no, none of that’s true! I could never get tired of you, Saeran!” Saeyoung put his hand to his chest. “Please believe me!” 

“You went abroad to have fun and make friends and left me to rot with that woman!” 

“Saeran, life was meaningless without you, I would’ve been fine dying any day with a life like that!” 

“You always ruin everything. You even stopped marshmallow boy from ending this worthless life of ours! You ruin everything you touch!”

“I’m sorry, Saeran! I just can’t let you die, I wouldn’t be able to go on in a world without you!” 

“My life was ruined because of you, i should have never been born into this world with you!” Saeran had his hands balled into fists. 

“No, no! Please don’t say that! I was so lucky to be born with you, with someone to protect. Please don’t say that!” 

“Lies, lies, lies, lies, _lies_! You’re nothing but a big liar! Absolutely irredeemable! There’s only one way to stop that stupid mouth of yours from spitting out more lies!” 

Saeran tackled Saeyoung into the ground and sat on top of him, straddling his body. Saeyoung was about to speak but his words were cut off by two hands wrapping around his throat. 

“If you’re dead, you can never lie to me again!” 

Saeyoung felt all the air cut from his throat. The hands around his neck burned. 

“Then, once I’ve gotten rid of you once and for all, I’ll end my own worthless life, and this time you won’t be there to ruin it!” 

Saeyoung suddenly felt panicked, he couldn’t stand the thought of his brother dying. But still, he didn’t struggle, he laid perfectly still. He didn’t want to live in a world where his brother could truly kill him. 

“I’ll really do it, even if you don’t struggle!” Saeran screamed, hands tightening. 

“Saeran…! Please don’t die…!” He pleaded while gasping for air. 

“Worry about yourself, idiot! Airhead! Lunatic!” He stared at the sad expression in Saeyoung’s eyes. His glasses had fallen off when Saeran had tackled him, so he had a clear view of those golden orbs. “Don’t lie to me with your eyes! Stop making that face! I won’t fall for it!” 

Saeran was struck with a sudden headache, Ray was screaming in his head for him to stop. 

‘Shut up, Marshmallow boy! This is the only way to stay safe from his lies for good!’ 

He thought of the Agency, and how horrible Vanderwood said it was. 

‘It can’t be worse than that hell he left me in!’

The floppy disk. 

‘A hacker can easily fabricate something like that!’ 

All the homemade meals his brother prepared for him. All the cleaning and security measurements his brother had set up for him. 

‘It doesn’t mean anything! He just likes caring for weak things!’ 

He was then bombarded with a swarm of memories from their childhood. Saeyoung reading him bedtime stories, cuddling with him after nightmares, trying to shield him from the beatings from their mother, taking him out for ice cream, and many more overwhelmed his senses. 

‘Lies, all lies!’ 

Then, suddenly, the next memories to pop into his head weren’t of Saeyoung, but of the woman he once called Savior having elixir shoved down his throat for weeks while he screamed about never being able to hate his brother. 

It hurt, those memories sent great pain shooting through him, he felt nauseous and sick like he did back then. Tears escaped from his eyes and his hands tightened once again. He could almost taste the elixir as they raised and raised the dosage. He choked, gasping for air. 

Then, a warmth woke him from the memory. Saeyoung was resting his hand upon Saeran’s tear-stained cheek, a look of worry plaguing his face. Even in these moments that might be his last, all he was worried about was Saeran! 

The next moment, Saeran’s hands were off his brother’s throat. He was beating his fists against the floor while Saeyoung coughed and gasped for air next to him. 

“Dammit! Why, why can’t I just kill him?!” He sat with his back to the wall and buried his face in his hands. 

Saeyoung looked at him with tears in his eyes. His brother couldn’t kill him after all. “Th-thank you.” He sobbed. “Thank you for forgiving me…” 

“No one said I forgave you!” Saeran snapped. 

“But you didn’t kill me.” 

“Dammit!!” He cried, tangling his hands into his hair. 

Saeyoung crawled to him and wrapped his arms around his brother’s neck. “Thank you…” tears were still streaming from his eyes. “Saeran...Saeran...you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to say that name. I’ve missed you so much, your scent, the feeling of your touch, your warmth, I’ve missed everything.” 

“G-Get off me…” In reality he never wanted his brother to let go. His hug felt like home, like the home Saeyoung promised they’d build together. And the sincere words spoken softly into his ear sent jolts of pleasure shooting down his spine. 

Saeyoung nuzzled his face into the crook of Saeran’s neck. “Saeran… I love you so much. I never want to leave you again. I don’t think I’d be able to survive without you anymore, it’d kill me to be torn away from you again. I’ll do anything it takes to stay with you. I regret ever believing V, I was wrong to leave, I’ll never do it again. I swear on my life.” 

Hearing his brother admit that he regrets leaving, and that he couldn’t survive without him, made him feel so good. He felt so warm inside hearing Saeyoung say these things to him. 

Saeyoung pulled apart from Saeran. Saeran felt the loss of contact immediately. He missed that warmth, despite wishing he didn’t. 

“Saeran, let’s run away together.” 

Saeran stared in shock for a moment. “What…?” 

“Let’s run away together, to some other country. We can get away from the Agency, from Father’s reign of terror, we can escape all our problems and start all over again.” 

He paused. “Don’t just say whatever you want on impulse…” 

Saeyoung shook his head. “I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. V has been trying to convince me to let go of the idea, and to stay in South Korea with all my friends. But I just want to find a place we can be safe together, away from all the bad people that have hurt us. I want us to build our new home together, a place we can always feel safe and finally be happy in. The only reason I haven’t left the Agency yet is because I wanted to save up money for us. I’m not just speaking on impulse.” 

“You mean you could really leave everything behind for me?” Saeran gaped. 

Saeyoung nodded his head. “Let’s be together forever, Saeran. Just me and you, like it was always meant to be.” 

Saeran hesitated for a moment. “You mean it…?” 

“Of course I mean it. I’ve even thought about how we can escape the country. We can smuggle ourselves by boat to Japan, and from there we can use fake passports to fly to whatever country we want.” Saeyoung smiled. “We can really do it, we can leave together. Let’s build ourselves a new home, all from scratch.” 

Saeran went completely still. “If… if you can really prove that you can leave everything behind for me… then maybe I’ll believe half of what you’re saying.” Saeran’s lips quivered. His brother was offering to leave all the good experiences he’d had this past decade along with all the bad things they’ve faced. 

Saeyoung felt tears welling up in his eyes again, his smile grew wider. He grabbed onto Saeran’s T-shirt and nuzzled into his chest. “Thank you…” he murmured softly. 

They stayed like that, together and whole, for what seemed like an hour, in a comfortable silence. Saeyoung felt so relaxed against his twin that he began to be lulled into a deep sleep. 

Saeran didn’t dare wake up his brother, so he stayed in that position, remembering all his fond memories from childhood, until he too fell asleep. And for once this whole month, neither of them had any nightmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No chapter summary since I want this one to have suspense hehe. I reallyyyy hope I did good on this one! This is the chapter I’ve been wanting to write ever since I started this fanfic! Wow all the way at chapter 10, huh? I’m shocked I’ve managed a diligent every day schedule with this too. I may slow down a bit with posting (or not idk really) since I’ve finally gotten here, but I’ll still try to post frequently. 
> 
> Gah thanks to all the people that leave nice comments T-T my motivation has only been this high because of all of you!! Lol someone predicted there’d be choking or something in this chapter and I’m just djfjdjjdb lol. 
> 
> Anyway thanks for reading!


	11. The Next Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung gets back on the messenger. Vanderwood confronts Saeran about strangling his brother.

Saeran woke first, still propped up with his back to the wall. Saeyoung was still nuzzled into his chest, sound asleep. He was hungry, and this position was becoming uncomfortable, but he didn’t want to wake Saeyoung, afraid that the dreamy spell of peace cast on them would be broken. 

He studied his brother’s features, he’d never really gotten the chance to see him up close before. So much time had past between them, and yet Saeyoung still retained traces of childhood on his face. 

The warmth felt nice against Saeran’s body, and he found himself unconsciously wrapping his hands around his brother’s waist, pulling him a little bit closer. 

It was around this time that he realized he was unsure of whether he was Ray or Saeran at the moment. He didn’t feel quite like either of them, or maybe it’d be more correct to say that he felt like both of them. 

Saeyoung began to rouse, and looked up at his brother. At first he thought he was dreaming, the events of last night not having fully caught up to him yet. When they finally did, he began to smile. 

“Good morning.” He greeted. 

His brother just answered with an affirmative nod, unsure of what to say. 

Saeyoung felt hunger gnawing at his stomach. “I should go make us some breakfast.” He very reluctantly pulled away from his brother. “You must be hungry, too. We didn’t have dinner last night.” He looked up at the clock hanging on the wall. It was 10 o’clock, they’d gotten 14 hours of sleep. ‘It’s the most I’ve slept in a while…’ “What do you want for breakfast Sae...Ray…?” He trailed off, not knowing which name to use. 

“It doesn’t matter.” 

Saeyoung looked at him with a confused expression. 

“I don’t know...which one I am right now. So it doesn’t matter…” 

Saeyoung really didn’t understand, but decided not to question it. “Saeran is the name I’ve wanted to call out for so long… so I’ll use that one. What do you want for breakfast, Saeran?” Saeyoung rubbed the base of his neck, his throat hurt from yesterday, and his throat was slightly hoarse. 

Saeran shrugged and looked down, signaling that he didn’t really care. “I’m going to go to my room...I want to be alone for a while.” 

“Alright. I’ll have breakfast ready soon.” 

Saeran noticed the dark marks wrapped around his brother’s neck, undoubtedly from his own hands. He felt nauseous looking at it, they probably hurt a lot. Why wasn’t his twin angry? 

He began walking towards his room and shut the door. 

Saeyoung stepped into the kitchen and began making breakfast. 

—-

Saeyoung sat at his computer, head spinning from all the worries plaguing him. After delivering his twin breakfast, he decided to do some research on Dissociative Identity Disorder, and didn’t like what he saw. 

More like he didn’t understand what he saw. He bit at his cuticles in frustration, a bad habit of his. ‘It’s a developmental disorder but I know for a fact he didn’t have this as a child! I was there! Then what the hell is going on. He’s got the repetitive childhood trauma but not the proper symptomatology!’

He couldn’t find anything until he read the Dissociative Identity Disorder entry in the DSM5. ‘ “The symptoms are not attributable to the physiological effects of a substance” he was on that crazy drug for a while, maybe that was what caused it? Hooray, maybe this isn’t true DID after all…! But then what is it?? Ugh.’ 

He leaned back into his chair, slouching in frustration. ‘He said he doesn’t know who he is right now...maybe it’s over now? Do the nuances of the disorder really matter if it’s over? God I need a break.’ 

He climbed out of his chair and walked into the livingroom, plopping onto the sofa. ‘I promised MC I’d come back to the messenger today… maybe I should try getting on.’ 

He opened the messenger app on his phone. It looks like MC, Yoosung, Zen, and Jumin were on at the moment. 

Yoosung: I’m just saying I’m really worried about him! 

MC: Wait let me try something.

MC: ACCIO GOD SEVEN 

[707 has joined the chat] 

MC: Wait holy shit?! 

Yoosung: Seven! You’re here!! 

707: Yeah… hi guys. 

Zen: Where’ve you been this last month???

707: My house, mainly. 

(Zen annoyed emoji) 

Zen: I meant why haven’t you been on 

Jumin Han: **Where is the hacker.**

Zen: Dude, again? You’re just still angry that he brushed you off. 

MC: Ray’s at your house too, right? 

707: Yeah… 

707: He’s in his room right now. 

Yoosung: He has a room?! 

707: Yeah, he’s gonna live with me from now on. 

Zen: From now on?! As in forever?? 

707: As long as he doesn’t leave me… 

Yoosung: Seven are you okay? 

MC: He won’t! Don’t worry! You love him so much, I’m sure he’ll stay with you! 

Jumin: ?!

Zen: ?!!!

Yoosung: ?!

Zen: You’re in love with the hacker?! 

707: Wait, what?

MC: He loves the hacker lots and lots! He told me so yesterday! 

Zen: ?! The hacker’s a girl?! 

MC: No, he’s a boy. 

Zen: !!!! 

707: Guys, slow down ;;; 

Yoosung: Yesterday? You talked to her yesterday?! But you’ve been ignoring all my calls! 

MC: It wasn’t over the phone. 

MC: We went to lunch together. 

Yoosung: !!! 

(Yoosung angry emoji) 

(Yoosung angry emoji) 

(Yoosung angry emoji) 

707: MC… 

Yoosung: You’ve been ignoring all my calls and texts, but you went out to lunch with MC?! 

707: Yes… 

Yoosung: But we’re best friends! 

MC: Maybe I’ll come for that position next 

(Yoosung shocked emoji) 

Yoosung: Seven… you wouldn’t…right? 

707: Woah, woah, woah ;;; 

707: Wait we’re best friends? 

Yoosung: SEVEN!!! 

707: I mean of course we’re best friends! 

Zen: Guys you’re ignoring the most important thing here!!!

Zen: Seven is gay! 

MC: …

Yoosung: …

707: …

Jumin Han: How exactly is that the most important thing here? 

Zen: Well ;;; it’s shocking ;;;

707: The shocking thing is you didn’t already know I had no gender preference…

Zen: Wait… If you and the hacker are living together… That means you two are dating?! 

707: !!!

707: No! No we’re not dating! 

Jumin Han: But you love him. 

MC: It’s more like an unrequited love. 

707: O-Ouch. 

707: That stung. 

707: But seriously ;; It's not like that

707: There are different types of love! 

707: Jumin loves his father, for example. 

Jumin: But you and the hacker aren’t family. 

707: Um ;;;

707: Maybe it’s time I told all of you…

707: Yeah it’s probably a good idea. 

707: **Me and Ray…are twin brothers.**

Zen: !!!

Yoosung: You have a twin??

707: Yes. 

707: We were separated about a decade ago. 

707: I can’t tell you his name so please just call him Ray, like how you all call me Luciel and Seven. 

Zen: Isn’t Luciel your real name though? 

Jumin Han: it’s his baptismal name. 

Zen: Wait…you’re catholic?!

Zen: That wasn’t all a weird joke?

707: Jesus Christ, you guys really don’t know me at all. 

707: That’s partially my fault though…

Jumin Han: So that’s why you escaped with him, it was all out of familial love. 

707: I can’t risk him going to jail. 

707: I left him in the care of V and Rika 10 years ago. 

707: Which was a horrible mistake on my part…

707: I really thought I could trust them…

Yoosung: So that’s why you were so angry at V?

707: Yes. He lied to me about my brother being the hacker. 

707: And used me to hack against him despite knowing I never would have if I’d known he was my brother. 

707: It was probably to spare my feelings or some bullshit like that. 

707: Or maybe because he would’ve known I’d have busted in there and annihilated that weird place he was at ;;;

707: Though, I know it’s all Rika’s fault this happened so I’ve been trying to be understanding. V changing so much thanks to MC has helped too. 

MC: Hehe I’m glad. 

707: Rika…turned him into a hacker despite knowing I never wanted him to learn hacking. 

707: She even had him on that weird drug.

MC: She told me he especially needed it in order to control him. 

707: I figured it was something like that. 

Yoosung: I can’t believe you really have a brother! What’s he like?

707: Umm…

Ray and Saeran had only ever hated him so he never got the chance to get to know them. 

707: Um...he doesn’t really like me…

707: Or more like he hates me…

707: So I haven’t gotten to know him…or at least who he is now. 

707: But when we were kids he was the sweetest most wonderful human being in the world. 

(707 love emoji) 

Yoosung: He hates you? 

707: Yeah…

707: but last night we had a talk… 

707: and he wasn’t hostile this morning. 

707: So maybe things are getting better? 

MC: I’m glad! 

MC: I told you he’d come around. 

707: Oh! I need to start making lunch. 

Yoosung: You’re actually gonna cook?! 

707: I’m fine living off a diet of nothing but junk food and soda. 

707: But I want him to have healthy, yummy foods so he can live a long life. 

Jumin Han: I can’t help but notice Luciel is acting very different than he usually does 

Jumin Han: Could this be…familial love? 

(Jumin smile emoji) 

707: Ah yeah lol. 

MC: Ray knows how to cook, though? 

MC: He even cooked me breakfast once at that place. 

707: I don’t think he has the motivation to cook right now. 

707: I can ask him later though. 

Jumin Han: I’ll allow your brother to go free because I understand the high value of family. 

707: Oh you don’t have to worry about that.

707: I already hacked into the police databases and destroyed any viable evidence on him. 

Jumin Han: What?!

707: Bye, guys! 

Jumin Han: Luciel wait! 

[707 has left the chat] 

‘That wasn’t so bad.’ Saeyoung smiled and leaned back into the couch. ‘I was pretty awkward though. But how could I be in the mood to be fun with so many things going on? _Ugh._ ’

It occurred to him that he’d miss his friends after running away. He’d always known he’d end up leaving the RFA someday, whether that be death or relocation. Moving away wouldn’t be terribly different. And it was worth it to be safe and happy with Saeran. 

It wasn’t like the move could happen anytime soon, anyway. They still needed to choose a country, first of all. Then Saeran would need to learn the language, Saeyoung might have to as well if the native tongue of the region wasn’t one of the 17 languages he knew. 

Saeyoung needed more money as well. Illegally leaving South Korea would cost a fortune alone. Then, there was buying a new house in whatever country they chose. He’d just bought this new bunker too so that spent a good amount of his savings. 

He’ll gladly sell off his baby cars for this, but used cars don’t go for nearly as much as the retail price. The only reason he hadn’t already left the Agency yet was that he needed a job to earn money. He couldn’t get a legal one either since he was trying to minimize his public appearances. 

‘ _Ughhh_ this is difficult.’ Saeyoung groaned. 

After around 20 more minutes of groaning about living expenses, his steel door opened. 

Vanderwood walked in, an Arabic dictionary in hand. “Say ‘cats are the divine messengers of god’ in Arabic? Seriously?” 

Saeyoung shrugged. 

“At least I know you haven’t totally changed.” Vanderwood grumbled. 

“I haven’t really been up for joking around lately, but it’s not like my sense of humor has changed.” He smiled. 

Vanderwood sighed, though was slightly relieved that the old 707 wasn’t totally gone. He seemed like he was going to complain some more but instead he froze. “Zero Seven, what’s that on your neck?”

Saeyoung gulped. ‘The bruises…!’ “Vanderwood, don’t freak out.” 

“Are those strangulation marks?” It dawned on him who the only other person living in this house was. “That little fucker, did he strangle you?” 

“M-Maybe a little, but—“ 

“A little?! Those bruises are pretty bad!” He started walking towards Saeran’s room. “Alright I draw the line at abuse.” 

“Vanderwood wait!” Saeyoung scrambled to follow. 

Vanderwood threw open the door. “How could you strangle your own brother?!” 

Saeran turned around in surprise. 

“Vanderwood please, stop it!” 

“Like hell! You won’t do anything to discipline this little bastard so I’m going to yell at him for you!” 

“Vanderwood I’m fine—“ Saeyoung started coughing violently. 

“See?! You’re not at all fine!” 

“That’s only because you’re making me yell!” 

“Even so—“ 

“He’s right, it’s not fine!” Saeran yelled, surprising both men. “I nearly killed you!” 

“But you didn’t! And that’s what matters!” 

“But you’re hurt!” Saeran cried, tears streaming down his face. 

“I’ll be fine in a few days!” 

“But I shouldn’t have done it!” 

“I did something horrible to you a long time ago, even if you had killed me I would have deserved it!” 

Did Saeyoung really believe all those spiteful things Saeran had said to him this past month? The thought of it greatly unnerved Saeran. “Don’t you have any regard whatsoever for your own life?!” 

The question stopped Saeyoung dead in his tracks. He didn’t know what to say, he had an answer but it wasn’t one he wanted to say out loud. “I care about you…and since you’re me, and I’m you, it’s the same thing as caring about myself.” 

“Sophism at its finest.” Vanderwood crossed his arms. 

“Shut up!” 

“I don’t understand why the perpetrator is more aware of the wrongdoing than the victim.” 

“I said shut up!” Saeyoung fumed. 

“But he’s right hyung. Even if I hate you, I shouldn’t try to kill you…I don’t understand why you’re not angry at me…” Saeran said weakly. 

“Saeran, I could never get mad at you, not for something like this…” 

The answer shouldn’t have surprised Saeran as much as it did. His brother hadn’t gotten angry at him for anything he’d done to him to try and get him to leave. 

“It’s enough for me to know that you couldn’t kill me. I wouldn’t want to live in a world where you genuinely could, anyway. So please don’t cry…” Seeing his brother’s crying face made him feel like his heart was shattering into bits and pieces. 

But Saeran couldn’t help but feel awful for what he’d done. 

They were all silent for a while, then Saeyoung spoke again. “Vanderwood, could I have some time alone with my brother? I want to talk to him.” 

Vanderwood sighed. Seeing as Saeran obviously felt guilty for what he’d done, he probably wouldn’t pull something like that again. He grumbled something about the twins being too much work and left the room. 

Saeyoung smiled at his brother. “Saeran, I really am okay. But it makes me feel happy that you’re worrying about me.” 

“You’re an _idiot._ ” 

Saeyoung laughed lightly. “Yeah, I probably am.” He sat next to his brother on the bed. “Have you thought about where you want to run away to?” 

“You were serious about that?” It still shocked Saeran. 

“Of course I was!” 

Saeran paused to think. “I don’t know about any other places outside of South Korea.” Even then, he hadn’t had much of a chance to explore South Korea either. 

“I’ve had to go to a lot of other countries on missions, I can tell you all about them later.” He thought a moment. “I can always buy you a new phone and laptop if you want. You wouldn’t hack into my work files again if I did, right?” 

Saeran shook his head. 

“That’s good. It’d be dangerous to do something like that. I’ll buy them for you next time I go out.” 

There was a long pause. 

“I still don’t understand why you don’t hate me for trying to kill you…” 

Saeyoung smiled. “You’re so silly, I could never hate my own brother.” Saeyoung took Saeran’s hand. 

Saeyoung’s words reminded Saeran of the things he’d screamed at Rika during his cleansing ceremony. He suddenly felt sick again. “O-Ow.” He rubbed his temple from the headache. 

“Are you okay?” Saeyoung asked in concern. 

Saeran nodded his head. “I’m fine.” 

They stayed a while like that, Saeyoung’s hand on his brother’s, until Saeyoung broke the comfortable silence. “I could stay with you like this all day, but I still have to go make lunch.” He very reluctantly removed himself from Saeran’s side and stood up. 

Saeran felt the loss of contact immediately. 

“Oh! That reminds me, I just got back on the messenger and MC told me you knew how to cook. Do you really?” 

“Ah…Yeah. I had to learn how to make meals for myself while I was alone…” Saeran replied. 

Saeyoung felt sad at his words, but smiled not long after. “I hope I can try your cooking someday, I’m sure you’re much better at it than me. I’ll bring lunch soon.” He left the room. 

Vanderwood was waiting for him on the couch when he got out. “Here,” he handed Saeyoung an ice pack wrapped in a towel, “You should ice that bruise. I’ll take care of lunch today. This better not happen again.” 

“Thanks.” Saeyoung took the ice and smiled at his colleague.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh nearly 3,000 words lol. I hope you guys like this extra long chapter! 
> 
> Thank you for reading and double thank you for leaving comments >-<


	12. A New Path to Happiness

Saeran started coming out more and more. He was still pretty silent, not really talking to his brother, but he wasn’t avoiding his brother anymore either. 

Even Vanderwood could see something was changing. 

“Is it me, or is the kid slightly less antisocial lately?” 

“He’s been coming out more, isn’t it great! Seeing him around in the house makes me so happy!” 

Saeyoung’s dark circles were beginning to get better as well. Apparently he was sleeping better now that he and his brother had reconciled. 

His nightmares about his father and the men wearing black suits were slowly getting better. It must’ve been because the initial panic about his father’s presidential candidacy had died down. But those dreams were being replaced by returned memories of Saeyoung’s mother. 

She was a lot scarier than he remembered. Maybe it was just because of how distant all the memories were, no longer a reality but almost a haunting fiction. 

Guilt was still gnawing at his insides for having naively trusted an outsider and leaving his brother. Sometimes he’d have dreams of his mother interrogating Saeran on his whereabouts. They were so vivid, Saeyoung wondered if they were actually his brother’s memories. 

He hoped to god that they weren’t. He saw his mother depriving Saeran of water, starving him, brutally beating him—it was unbearable. He wanted to ask his brother if they were real or just guilt induced fabrications but was too afraid. 

After around two weeks, the dark marks finally faded from Saeyoung’s neck. Saeran was glad to no longer have to see them, the sight of them had filled him with dread and despair. Especially when his brother was acting kind to him. 

Saeyoung had bought Saeran both a laptop and a phone. Saeran was using them to search up places all around the world to find one he wanted to make his home. He’d bookmarked at least a hundred tabs by just the first week. 

Saeyoung finally told Vanderwood about his and his brother’s plans. 

“Leaving the country?” Vanderwood seemed a bit surprised. 

“Yeah. I’ve got a plan for it and everything. After I’ve saved up enough money…”

He told Vanderwood about his plans to escape to Japan by boat and fly to whatever country they want afterwards. 

“I guess all I have to say is that I’m happy for you. It’ll keep my ass safe too, you having a family member makes things dangerous on me. Although surprisingly my life has gotten safer now that you’re actually doing your work.” Vanderwood sighed. 

Saeyoung smiled. He and his brother could finally have a home. He was ecstatic at the thought of sharing a nice place with Saeran, going on outings together, and having lazy days to just spend time together. Some place where they could feel safe and live peacefully. 

Saeran had finally accepted that, despite his anger and hate, his heart had latched onto his brother, and didn’t seem like it’d let go anytime soon. After spending a night in each other’s arms, he didn’t think he’d be able to survive without his brother’s touch anymore. 

And thus, the two brothers were on their path to new happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s all for reconciliation! I’ll be posting the next fic in the series in juuust a minute. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Be sure to check out the new fic once I’ve posted it!

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this fic idea in mind for I while so I hope you guys like it. I had the first chapter ready to post and made a new account to post it on, then I realized that I forgot you have to wait a few days for them to give you an account so I actually have the first 4 chapters ready to go now. I'll be posting those shortly. Please leave comments, they're what will keep my motivation going!


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